They always say that people are either a "blessing or a lesson". I guess this saying applies to husbands as well. There are two things I would tell any single woman in a rush to get married and its this:
1. Wait On God to send you your spouse. Don't try to find him he will find you. 2. God will not send you someone else's husband and he sure won't send you a man from Sugardaddyforme.com Meet my ex- husband or as I call him my "un"-husband. Jimi Lee Hill. The dark fellow in the middle with the suit on twice his size. A washed up blues singer with finger waves, shirts with pants with cuffs that match the print of the shirts, and a soultry voice that got him a record deal at the hisotric Stacks Records in Memphis T.N. at the age of 9. I'm finally able to share with my readers the sad truth about my first marriage. Yes, I admit I met him on Sugardaddyforme.com, and yes, I admit my intentions were to find financial security and reap the monetary benefits of sharing my time and company with someone, but what I wasn't expecting was to meet an eccentric pathological liar who would turn the fairy tale I pictured in my mind into a living nightmare. Jimi and I dated for a little over a year. We began a long distance relationship with him being in Georgia. He was sweet, funny, and totally different from any man I had ever dated. Not to mention, he was 20 years older than me. Despite the the opinions of my close friends and family I decided to wed Mr. Hill. So I packed up my entire life, let the job I loved, moved my daughter, and my dog to Georgia. What should have been a happy time in my life began to unfold into a tumultuous and downward spiral similiar to a Lifetime movie. Jimi became controlling and angry, we moved from location to location, and then I discovered my husband was still happily married to his wife of over 20 years in a facebook message from his granddaughter. When I thought life had ended and I was ashamed to go back home and pick up the pieces God prevailed. I realized that the vows I took before God where done because of my own selfish intentions and not because I loved Jimi, and that despite the signs and warnings from him and my closest friends and families I chose to be disobedient and marry Mr. Hill. The signs were there, but I continued to ignore them. I didn't love Jimi, but I continued to live a lie and tell people, "God told me to marry him." There I was with my little girl, dog, and almost nothing headed back home, jobless, broken, bitter, and ashamed. Here is the lesson: Just like the children of Israel, despite my disobedience God delivered me and brought me home, I got another job better than the job I left, I learned to forgive despite my bitterness and anger, and most important I learned when God has set you aside for a purpose and you go against His will; you are setting yourself up for disaster. It took some time, but I healed. The other Mrs. Hill and I became friends until Jimi discovered we remained in contact. She is still married to him...and six years later I married my husband, the husband God sent and now a new story begins.... xoxo, Krystale Jane'l
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I honestly thought when people said marriage makes you become a better person that was just a cliche' statement that married people say to give you hope and so you won't end in divorce. I can honestly say it is isn't.
I'm not aligning my chakras with the universe, or on a new health journey that has me reducing my sodium intake or counting my carbs (although I quite possibly should be), and I'm definitely not on a quest for truth to discover my inner Hotep. I'm already woke, but I'm definitely more aware. Knowing that i am apart of someone in a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sense has made me want to try even harder to be the very best half of this beautiful union that I can be. Not just for my husband, but also for God. I want to be closer to God more than ever and yes, maybe a small part of it has to do with the fact that my husband and I both realize we need God in the center of our marriage to work, but it also means I need to be close to God because just like being a mother to my girls; being a wife is something i can't just read a book and ace the exam. It is a daily job that every day is a test and i have to be linked to God in order to succeed. I don't know all the answers no matter how much i read about how to be a good wife...without God I may have a marriage, but in order for it to prosper the way God intended I need Him. The Spirit led me to get up 45 minutes earlier for one one one time with God, Yoga and exercise, and scripture reading. Honestly this is something I should have been doing a long time ago, but i made excuses such as, "I have quiet time when I'm in the bed" or, "It's too hard to get up earlier when I have a one year old who still wakes up during the night for feedings." I am not a morning person, but this is something i know God has been calling me to do. So I made the decision with God's help that I will get up early and listen more closely as far as what he is requiring of me since i am asking so much from Him for me and my family. What are some of the things God maybe asking you to do that you struggle with being obedient about? XOXO, Krystale Jane'l |
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