I recently celebrated my 38th birthday on May 16th. While almost being 40 is something I’m learning to appreciate, I must admit the unwanted body changes and my metabolism slowing down weren’t things I had prepared for. None the less, this new chapter in my “Pre 40 Turn-up” is one I’m learning to embrace and accept.
For me, the Pre 40 Turn-up is more so about reflecting, figuring out what works for you and eliminating what doesn’t, and finally becoming comfortable with yourself enough to live out the rest of years being the very best version of you. I can admit, it took some time on this journey for me to figure it out. Just like death, I think every woman goes through different stages of emotion. Denial- you still want to believe you still “have it” until you go to the club and see the younger women who can actually still shop at Forever 21 and who can actually eat whatever they want and drink and party all night without facing the consequences the next day. Meanwhile, by 10 o’clock you are ready to call it a night and tuck yourself in with a good novel, Lifetime movie, or your favorite podcast. Guilt- Because somehow through this whole process of almost being 40 while you were reflecting… you start blaming yourself for things “that could’ve been” and over analyzing your life on how it should of been if your choices had of been different. Unfortunately, at some point you realize your life isn’t a Choose Your Own Adventure book and you don’t get to go back and do a redo. You realize the truth of the matter is, your life is pretty dope and if there are things that need to change you have the power to do so because you are a badass powerful woman! Bargaining- You are a bad ass powerful woman but you also still want to hold onto things that are only allowed BEFORE the Pre 40 Turn-up. Things like not wearing your glasses because you keep trying to convince yourself you are just going to save for LASIK, taking the easy way out and turning to diet pills and diet fads instead of just eating healthier and exercising, staying in relationships just a little longer because you try to convince yourself they are changing or you just “know” they are finally preparing to commit. At the end of this stage you finally come to reality and realize no amount of bargaining can change the inevitable- IT STARTS WITH YOU TAKING PROACTIVE AND CONSISTENT ACTIONS, and not trying to reason with yourself to take the easy way out because of your fear of the unknown. Depression- 40 is almost staring you in the face. You realize the changes you need to make, and you take action! Only to discover you find yourself in the land of the unknown. You may have even lost close relationships because you are finally deciding to live for you… the additional baggage of unhealthy relationships just isn’t going to cut it anymore. Somewhere in your mind you miss the life you had before your “AaHa” moment, and you start to doubt how badass and powerful you really are. You know in your heart your best life is ahead, but the old life is so much more inviting and convenient. You compare yourself to others who are in their Pre 40 Turn-Up and they really do seem to be miles ahead of you, and have accomplished every goal they have ever set…meanwhile you are on the verge of a nervous break down because that big project that could really change your entire career is due and your trusty Macbook just retired before you did, or you find yourself struggling as a newly divorced single mom having to juggle a new life without a spouse and find the perfect balance for your home and work life. This is your new reality and somehow you push through. You know that this stage of being a “hot mess” will only allow you to grow and prepare you for the Hope that lies ahead. Acceptance- This is it…the moment you have been waiting on. The crowd is cheering for you and chanting your name! You have finally arrived! You are unbothered. Your wisdom and style surpasses anything you ever had in your younger years. You know who you are because you experienced so much and learned how to grow and flourish. You look in the mirror and you just know you are a High Commodity Asset. You have finally embraced your new life as a SUPER BADASS PRE 40 QUEEN! You finally get the gym membership and buy the Spanx! You are UNSTOPPABLE!
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