This transition from the total freedom of parenting an independent soon to be high school graduate back to being a mommy of a newborn has been...a challenge. I'm thankful for my husband and the extra help but doing this at 34, after 17 years, and with a baby who seems to think I'm the only responsible parent that can watch her is for the birds.
My sweet baby girl Kaydie is the most precious creature God ever created...but she is also a monster. I could go on and on about how adorable she is but I'd rather be honest and warn any parent who has children 7 years or older who are thinking about starting all over again. I can't leave the room, workout, pee, or eat unless The Warden aka Kaydiebug allows it. This child has a scream that would make the walls of Jericho come down.She screams and tears start flowing. You would honestly think she is being tortured---nope...I just can't hold her. This kid, my sweet little angel, my blessing...is no joke. She doesnt want to be held by anyone else. She would rather sit on the couch and watch my every move like a stalker off a Lifetime movie. Oooh and let me not forget the whole reason for this post---not being able to sleep. Lets face it, I am one of those people I love to sleep but Im too nosy to sleep in. I actually plan on Fridays to come home, shower, write or read, drink some wine...and SLEEP. My precious Kaydie sleeps for about 3 or 4 hours, then she tosses and turns for about 30 minutes before she wakes up for her 2:30 -3 am feeding. This is TORTURE for me. Interrupted restless sleep is worse than no sleep at all for me. Not to mention I suffer from momsomnia. God knows I have the best husband in the world...but last night he almost lost his life. After a heated debate I decided I wanted to continue our conversation (mainly to make my point...because women are always right). Keep in mind my man works two jobs, has to be at work at 4 in the morning, and does alot of manual labor at the second job so I never ask him to participate in the early morning feedings ( nor has he offered). He was sleeping peacefully like a newborn baby (no pun intended)...I WAS LIVID! Then he had the nerve to say, "Leave me alone, Jane'l. I'm trying to sleep." Then he had the nerve to roll over! SLEEP! NEGRO, DO YOU KNOW THE LAST TIME I GOT TO SLEEP UNINTERUPPTED BEFORE I HAVE TO GET UP AND GET READY FOR WORK AT 6 AM! NEGRO, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN UP UNABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE YOU HAVE MOMSOMNIA? CAN U NAME ONE TIME OTHER THAN THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF HER LIFE? ARE YOU SECRETLY USING THE CUCUMBERS OUT THE SALAD AND KAYDIE'S UNUSED FROZEN TEETHING RINGS TO PREVENT BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES? HECK NO! ARE U FREAKING KIDDING ME?! I didnt say any of that because Im really working on my Christian walk...although several other thoughts in my mind were far from Christlike at this point while I sat in my calming place(the bathroom toilet) and tried to calm down. God watches over babies and fools because my sweetheart honestly didn't know how bad I wanted to suffocate him with the same pillow he rolled over on. Rule #1 for any new mom first time or not is don't ever talk about sleep around her. If you want extra points lie and say, "Oooh I couldn't sleep either." Dont get me wrong, I love my man and I love my girls...but Im not going to lie and tell you this has been a walk in the park or even like when they have babies on t.v. Having a newborn is hard...about as hard as parenting a teenage girl ( I have both so pray for me). Just words of advice for, dads, and family members: Dont mention sleep, her weight, and how easy being a new mom looks if you know what's best for u.
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